Every morning I wake up to wonder why everything is.
Why am I alive?
Who am I?
Why am I?
How can I influence the world with my craft?
These questions still haunt me. I've had to answer this for my core of core class as well. My biggest driver for the work I make are events and situations many struggle with. Right now the major one is death. It sounds bad as I write this, but it’s true. I don’t think I’d be making the pieces I create without the death of my loved ones. My grandmother passing was a great trial I had to get through, I’ve gotten over it more than I once have. That made my world fall apart, we’d always been close. The one that affects me a lot now, was the passing of my old church’s secretary. Melissa had been my true mentor in life, I struggle with the very thought of not being able to see her again. I still can’t bear talking about it. I’m tearing up as I write this. I truly miss her. I appreciate the memories I have of her and the inspiration for the words I type. I’m able to see the world from a perspective I would never have possibly written from before. As well as using this drive for hopefully influencing others for the better. Using my craft, my writing, to lift the spirits of those in dark places. For those who cannot find the exit from the pit of despair that latches onto their souls. I wish to make a world of escape for my audience with the books I write. I can see from a more open perspective because of the events I’ve gone through in my life and I’m able to use them in a way so that my writing can benefit others and so that they may find hope and solace in the ever changing world where there are constantly things that we can try and predict, but as time goes on, more and more outside influence affects us and we are shot down when we try so hard to attain happiness and tranquility. Writing, for me, is that break away, an outlet, my peace, because with a world constantly spiraling toward more innovations and progress in industrialization, it’s hard to find your place. I struggle with this, but like I said before my work reflects that. I want to help others find a way out just like I have.
So thank you God for giving me a way to reach out, empathize, and prioritize people so that I can better myself.
Below is a link to a speech by David Foster Wallace. It is an eye-opener for me as a person who is amazed by how everyone is also human. It helped me to understand we are not alone in such a busy and scary world. Maybe our lives can extend past our fish bowls?
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